Sunday, April 08, 2007
Update
I have been pretty lax on writing and keeping up. For one, my teacher is no longer requiring us to keep one every day. Also, my computer is dying. I have noticed that there is definately an addicitive element to journal writing. The relief from reflecting on issues that I am dealing with and the satisfaction that I feel after doing it can provide for withdrawl when I have not done it in a while.
The future employment front has been very exciting the last few days. I have started hearing back from football teams and even though the Broncos and Bengals are not interested the Dolphins said they would consider my resume after the draft which is a promising sign. They also have an extensive internship program so that might work too. I also have gotten some feedback from my boss at CU that a position with them is not entirely out of the question. He did not say it directly but with reading a little into it I got that impression. I havn't really heard anything from Lockheed Martin and I don't really know what to expect. I don't really think that is what I want to do even if they offered me a job anyway. It is good to have options though. It also could give me enough leverage to help convince CU to pay me. Thinking about having my dream job in a few months just blows my mind. What a different and fufilling life that can be.
Spending Spring Break in Breckenridge was a lot of fun. I was able to have time to read a lot of thesportseconomist. It is amazing how much joy I get from reading that website. I feel like I learn more reading that website for an hour than I do in a week of school. I also think that I can read it subjectively and am doing more than accepting the opinions of the writers. I have accepted the fact that I did not pick the correct major. If I could take the decision over again I would have chosen economics. This brings up another interesting question, The econ department at CU is awful. Most of the teachers I have had are uninspiring at best. More importantly, the econ students are in the major because it is easy and there are few classes you need to take to earn a degree. Being surrounded by the lesser half of CU students damages the learning environment. Outside of class, CU has been the most fufilling decision in my life. Overall, is it possible that I would have perferred going to another school? I do not think there is really enough information to answer this question, but what if I went to Clemson and the head of the department and teacher was the guy I love reading and learn so much from at thesportseconomist. That could be an incredibly fufilling experience. I have at the very least enjoyed entertaining the thought and it has opened my eyes.
The two other big changing things in my life have been the starting of my youth flag football league and dealing with girls.
As far as my flag football league I am very excited to get started on this. I have put more thought into the things that get me really excited about it and compeition is a big part of it. I wonder if being part of the front office will remove me enough from the result where I will not get that thrill of competition. As soon as I get my foot in the door I would like to work towards becoming a coach if it is possible. Either way I am anticipating further domination from my Boulder Bears.
As much as I hate to admit it I am not over my relationship with Kim and I am not over dealing with her relationship with Lance, that is the truth. At times, I am motivated by wanting to do things that will bother Kim. I have at times acted on these feelings, it is like "maybe by ignoring her I can upset her". Fortunately, both her and Lance were not here for the party this weekend so I did not have to deal with that and could just do my own thing without being emotionally charged.
I learned why it can be hard for two people who once were in a commited relationship to remain friends. The things that help one get over the relationship, meeting new people mostly, are the same things that make the other one angry. How can two people remain friends when one's happiness comes at the expense of the other. As difficult of a situation as that sounds I am compelled to try to remain friends anyway. One, Why? Two, How? This might require further reflection later.
Coming up next weekend is formal and truth be told there really is no one I am excited about asking and taking . This is the first time it has been like this. All of the girls I have met here either this semester or earlier I have not talked to in a while or I am not that attracted to them or there is some other problem. With about 5 people telling me to ask Tiffany, including Tiffany, it is pretty obvious she really wants to go with me. Part of it is just that she wants to go because her friends are going and that is not really a compelling reason for me to take her. Another is that there isn't a lot of potential for making the night romantic which is something I would be looking for in a date. Possibly the biggest reason is that if I went with Tiffany I would have to be closer to a situation that can be potentially upseting. This could leave Tiffany and I seperated for a large portion of the evening. I am looking to bring a date and not a girl.
I also put up an ad on Craigslist to find a date, more for entertainment purposes but also with a realistic attempt to maybe meet someone worth taking. I did not expect to find someone worth taking, but it is possible and I have at least enjoyed the. So far I have gotten a few responses but nothing that has me closing down the search. I am sure it will work out, it always has.
When I have some more time I want to reflect on EV and its application to picking up girls at a party. Even though things worked out, I believe I did not make a correct EV decision and that I did not consider all of the facts. Maybe that had something to do with being drunk. I will have to reflect on it in more detauil later
The future employment front has been very exciting the last few days. I have started hearing back from football teams and even though the Broncos and Bengals are not interested the Dolphins said they would consider my resume after the draft which is a promising sign. They also have an extensive internship program so that might work too. I also have gotten some feedback from my boss at CU that a position with them is not entirely out of the question. He did not say it directly but with reading a little into it I got that impression. I havn't really heard anything from Lockheed Martin and I don't really know what to expect. I don't really think that is what I want to do even if they offered me a job anyway. It is good to have options though. It also could give me enough leverage to help convince CU to pay me. Thinking about having my dream job in a few months just blows my mind. What a different and fufilling life that can be.
Spending Spring Break in Breckenridge was a lot of fun. I was able to have time to read a lot of thesportseconomist. It is amazing how much joy I get from reading that website. I feel like I learn more reading that website for an hour than I do in a week of school. I also think that I can read it subjectively and am doing more than accepting the opinions of the writers. I have accepted the fact that I did not pick the correct major. If I could take the decision over again I would have chosen economics. This brings up another interesting question, The econ department at CU is awful. Most of the teachers I have had are uninspiring at best. More importantly, the econ students are in the major because it is easy and there are few classes you need to take to earn a degree. Being surrounded by the lesser half of CU students damages the learning environment. Outside of class, CU has been the most fufilling decision in my life. Overall, is it possible that I would have perferred going to another school? I do not think there is really enough information to answer this question, but what if I went to Clemson and the head of the department and teacher was the guy I love reading and learn so much from at thesportseconomist. That could be an incredibly fufilling experience. I have at the very least enjoyed entertaining the thought and it has opened my eyes.
The two other big changing things in my life have been the starting of my youth flag football league and dealing with girls.
As far as my flag football league I am very excited to get started on this. I have put more thought into the things that get me really excited about it and compeition is a big part of it. I wonder if being part of the front office will remove me enough from the result where I will not get that thrill of competition. As soon as I get my foot in the door I would like to work towards becoming a coach if it is possible. Either way I am anticipating further domination from my Boulder Bears.
As much as I hate to admit it I am not over my relationship with Kim and I am not over dealing with her relationship with Lance, that is the truth. At times, I am motivated by wanting to do things that will bother Kim. I have at times acted on these feelings, it is like "maybe by ignoring her I can upset her". Fortunately, both her and Lance were not here for the party this weekend so I did not have to deal with that and could just do my own thing without being emotionally charged.
I learned why it can be hard for two people who once were in a commited relationship to remain friends. The things that help one get over the relationship, meeting new people mostly, are the same things that make the other one angry. How can two people remain friends when one's happiness comes at the expense of the other. As difficult of a situation as that sounds I am compelled to try to remain friends anyway. One, Why? Two, How? This might require further reflection later.
Coming up next weekend is formal and truth be told there really is no one I am excited about asking and taking . This is the first time it has been like this. All of the girls I have met here either this semester or earlier I have not talked to in a while or I am not that attracted to them or there is some other problem. With about 5 people telling me to ask Tiffany, including Tiffany, it is pretty obvious she really wants to go with me. Part of it is just that she wants to go because her friends are going and that is not really a compelling reason for me to take her. Another is that there isn't a lot of potential for making the night romantic which is something I would be looking for in a date. Possibly the biggest reason is that if I went with Tiffany I would have to be closer to a situation that can be potentially upseting. This could leave Tiffany and I seperated for a large portion of the evening. I am looking to bring a date and not a girl.
I also put up an ad on Craigslist to find a date, more for entertainment purposes but also with a realistic attempt to maybe meet someone worth taking. I did not expect to find someone worth taking, but it is possible and I have at least enjoyed the. So far I have gotten a few responses but nothing that has me closing down the search. I am sure it will work out, it always has.
When I have some more time I want to reflect on EV and its application to picking up girls at a party. Even though things worked out, I believe I did not make a correct EV decision and that I did not consider all of the facts. Maybe that had something to do with being drunk. I will have to reflect on it in more detauil later
