Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Birthday and related thoughts
Yesterday was my birthday and I think it would be good to reflect on it here. One of the things I really like about it is being the center of attention in a way. People treat you well and help make it special even in small ways. I got taken out to lunch. I got a couple of free beers at home. My friends took me out to the sink and paid for all of my drinks. But just hearing happy birthday from friends, classmates, and co-workers is just a nice thing. It is amazing how receptive people are to mood and gesturing. You can do yourself a tremendous favor by always being positive, personal, and actively nice. I will try to be extra sensitive to making people feel like I am truly glad to see them. I expect terrific returns.
Seeing that my personal mission statement is to maximize my happiness, I usually focus on more long term issues. I am in a stage in my life where I can work hard to set the tone for a lot of happiness to come. Lately however, as I have been speaking a lot of, my immediate happiness has been very affected by my relationship with Kim and my relationship with Lance and the relationship between them. Going out to celebrate my 22nd birthday it made sense to invite both of them because they are both good friends of mine. Being together with the two of them definitely affected me. I’d say it had a 20% affect. Not overwhelming but at least a nuisance.
I got to rethink my plan and figure this out a bit. The pain involved definitely affects my happiness. As I mentioned before, I want to be able to get over it and be unaffected by it. Currently, I can not see either one without thinking of the other and how it bothers me. This is bad because I want to be friends with both of them and my current feelings makes that really difficult. I think a very central question is: Can I get over it faster by exposing myself to it? Or conversely, Can I get over it faster by avoiding it? Avoiding it completely, would require sacrifices that I am not willing to make. But with making reasonable exceptions I can make a point to avoid potentially upsetting situations. Because this is such new territory for me, it is probably best to consult friends that have been through something similar. If I decide that the best way is to expose myself to it, than that will make decision making easier but maybe more painful for a while. If it just takes time, I would rather avoid them when I can but not miss things that would still be worthwhile. If I will extend this stage by being around them, I should avoid them even sometimes in situations that I still want to go to, in order to reach my goal of comfort.
I need to find an answer to this question. I need to focus on being positive and personal with people even those I only know casually. Along with the thought of leaving good impressions with people, I want to have a sit down with Jake and let him know that I appreciate his support, Kenny to let him know that I am proud of his commitment, and with Mike to let him know what I am going through and settle anything that might be left between us.
Seeing that my personal mission statement is to maximize my happiness, I usually focus on more long term issues. I am in a stage in my life where I can work hard to set the tone for a lot of happiness to come. Lately however, as I have been speaking a lot of, my immediate happiness has been very affected by my relationship with Kim and my relationship with Lance and the relationship between them. Going out to celebrate my 22nd birthday it made sense to invite both of them because they are both good friends of mine. Being together with the two of them definitely affected me. I’d say it had a 20% affect. Not overwhelming but at least a nuisance.
I got to rethink my plan and figure this out a bit. The pain involved definitely affects my happiness. As I mentioned before, I want to be able to get over it and be unaffected by it. Currently, I can not see either one without thinking of the other and how it bothers me. This is bad because I want to be friends with both of them and my current feelings makes that really difficult. I think a very central question is: Can I get over it faster by exposing myself to it? Or conversely, Can I get over it faster by avoiding it? Avoiding it completely, would require sacrifices that I am not willing to make. But with making reasonable exceptions I can make a point to avoid potentially upsetting situations. Because this is such new territory for me, it is probably best to consult friends that have been through something similar. If I decide that the best way is to expose myself to it, than that will make decision making easier but maybe more painful for a while. If it just takes time, I would rather avoid them when I can but not miss things that would still be worthwhile. If I will extend this stage by being around them, I should avoid them even sometimes in situations that I still want to go to, in order to reach my goal of comfort.
I need to find an answer to this question. I need to focus on being positive and personal with people even those I only know casually. Along with the thought of leaving good impressions with people, I want to have a sit down with Jake and let him know that I appreciate his support, Kenny to let him know that I am proud of his commitment, and with Mike to let him know what I am going through and settle anything that might be left between us.
