Monday, April 03, 2006
Success
Wow, I'm pretty embarrassed. It has been way to long since my last post. Most of that is my fault but in my defense I had written one article and as I hit the post button it did not work and erased all that I had written. That really sucked so I was a little discouraged. Eventually however, I just way too much to talk about, I just had to add another entry.
I am going to try and recap my life for the last month or so. It started with an awesome win in my indoor intramural soccer championship. The whole team played great, Lance scored a pair of goals and Koke knocked one in for a 3-1 win. Overall it was a great season. I am really looking forward to outdoor, we can win three titles in one year. Water Polo did not go that well because we were missing our two best players Kim and Chris for the semi’s. We lost and I was reminded how much I like winning and how much I don’t like losing. Some people would say it’s not about winning or losing but about having fun. But I always have more fun when I win so to me it is about winning or losing. The only question is if this characteristic is good or bad. On one hand when I was younger I was affected by competition in a way that mad me a sore loser and a worse winner. I try to keep my winning/losing emotions inside because it makes me more pleasant to other people. Beyond that however I think that my competitive nature is what will make me successful and happy with that success.
I guess the main reason why I stated this journal was a cheap form of therapy. I have thought about my future and my plans for after college. It is the most difficult thinking I have ever done. The closest decision that I can think of was when I decided what college I wanted to go to. Aside from transferring or life changing decisions down the road, college was a 4 year decision. My profession is a 40 year decision. It is that much more difficult. I have a lot of anxiety about making a good decision for my career. I thought maybe I should talk to a therapist about it and work through my issues. But I realized that it would be hard for me to find one whose opinion I would trust, it would be a good way to express my thoughts but expensive, instead I decided to think about it out loud and regularly with a written record in order to make some progress.
I am going to try and recap my life for the last month or so. It started with an awesome win in my indoor intramural soccer championship. The whole team played great, Lance scored a pair of goals and Koke knocked one in for a 3-1 win. Overall it was a great season. I am really looking forward to outdoor, we can win three titles in one year. Water Polo did not go that well because we were missing our two best players Kim and Chris for the semi’s. We lost and I was reminded how much I like winning and how much I don’t like losing. Some people would say it’s not about winning or losing but about having fun. But I always have more fun when I win so to me it is about winning or losing. The only question is if this characteristic is good or bad. On one hand when I was younger I was affected by competition in a way that mad me a sore loser and a worse winner. I try to keep my winning/losing emotions inside because it makes me more pleasant to other people. Beyond that however I think that my competitive nature is what will make me successful and happy with that success.
I guess the main reason why I stated this journal was a cheap form of therapy. I have thought about my future and my plans for after college. It is the most difficult thinking I have ever done. The closest decision that I can think of was when I decided what college I wanted to go to. Aside from transferring or life changing decisions down the road, college was a 4 year decision. My profession is a 40 year decision. It is that much more difficult. I have a lot of anxiety about making a good decision for my career. I thought maybe I should talk to a therapist about it and work through my issues. But I realized that it would be hard for me to find one whose opinion I would trust, it would be a good way to express my thoughts but expensive, instead I decided to think about it out loud and regularly with a written record in order to make some progress.
